This week has been one of the most difficult weeks that I have had to deal with since the death of my father. My brother and I finished getting all of our Dad's affairs in order and with that we also executed father's will.
I am still struggling with the death of my father. He was always the one that I could turn to in a crisis for advice. When we sat down with my Dad's attorney on Monday, I could not help but to think back to when he taught me how to catch a ball. I was very young and I cannot really explain as to why I can remember that particular memory, but it came back to me, in that moment, in vivid detail. After the reading of the will I went to my son's school and took him out early. He was really shocked that I picked him up early because that is something that I really don't do.
We proceeded to go to the park and when we arrived I pulled our basball equipment out of the vehicle. We put our gloves on simply played catch. No words were really spoken to each other. We both just soaked in the moment and ejoyed the game of catch. As we were putting up our gear I grabbed my son and gave him a big hug. Now, usually this embarasses him to the point that he would rather die that get a hug from his dad, but this time I think he knew that the hug was something far more than just a gesture of affection. As we were hugging my son whispered in my ear, "I miss Grandpa too!" At that point I just lost all control of my emotions and we both cried as we sat in the vehicle at the park.
Before leaving the park we recited the Lord's Prayer and prayed for my Dad. That was also the first time that my son and I actually prayed together. I will never forget this moment in time and I hope that my son doesn't either.
This weekend my son will be wrestling in the Regional Tournament in Nixa, MO. I know that my Dad will be watching over us and cheering for Ethan each and every time he takes to the mat. Ethan says that he is not only wrestling for him and his team, but for Grandpa too.
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I’m sorry you have had such a hard week! Kids have this amazing ability to know exactly how you feel and they can comfort in a way no one else can. It is good you have each other to comfort and get through this tough time!
ReplyDeleteMy sincerest condolences reach out to you during this time. May your heart be filled with the fond memories of the times that you have shared with your father.
ReplyDeleteI lost my father 6 years ago. My senior year of high school. I can tell you there is nothing worse than waking up the next morning and realizing that it wasn't just a nightmare. 6 years later next week-I can tell you, I am still not completely over it, although the pain does fade in time. I never visit his grave. That's not where he is. I visit Reddings Mill bridge where he always took me fishing as a child, just like your dad played catch with you. I know you will always remember him when you play catch with your son.
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